TW: Child loss, pregnancy, stillbirth
I hope this topic opens your mind and eyes to the many appropriate things you can do and say to the grieving parents, other than the clichés of “be strong”, “move on”, or the classic “I am sorry”.
Losing a child is never easy for parents to bear, regardless of stage at which it occurs. There are several terms associated with this experience, including child loss, infant loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, and infertility.
At this vulnerable stage, those who are suffering need your extended hands, especially if they are the ones you call friends. Here are some ideas of what you can do to help them.
1. Offering Practical Support
Grieving parents often find it hard to manage daily task while dealing with their griefs. Simple house chores tasks can become a huge challenge for them to start. Be kind and offer them your help with a simple homemade food, help them to vacuum their house, do their laundry, or just water their plants. These actions speak louder than a mere “I am sorry for your loss”.
2. Being Empathetic and Listening with Compassion
Though you will never understand the feeling they feel, refrain from saying “I am sorry for your loss”. Because really, what do you expect them to reply that?
Instead, listen to their story, show them empathy, and try to understand what they feel. Remember to acknowledge the name of their child(ren), as it honors the memory and demonstrate that you recognize their existence.
Create a safe space for them to share their feelings, memories, and stories without judgment or interruption. Practice active listening by offering your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and providing verbal or non-verbal reassurance.
3. Providing Resources
Thought you might not experience the same feeling as the grieving parents, you still could help them by providing them help. Most of the time, grieving parents find comfort in connecting with others who have similar experience. You could help by giving information about a local support groups or grief counselor. Some books or podcast related to the grieving parents also can be good resources.
4. Remembering Their Child(ren)
The biggest scare of a grieving parents is that world will forget about their child(ren). Because the child(ren) who left did not have a chance to grow and connect with others.
Show the grieving parents that their child(ren) matters! Their existence matters!
Speak out their child(ren)’s names. Ask them about their favourite traits of their child, or the most memorable moments when their child(ren) was around.
This small gesture ensures the parents that their child(ren)’s memories live on.
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